Eagleman 2015 Race Report, by Ernest Hemingway (with contributions from Joseph Conrad)

Months before, the sleeping dragon, Eagleman 70.3 appeared not as the majestic bird of prey, but rather a placid feathered sparrow, calmly beckoning our siren trio to the lush marshes of Maryland.

But as our good and true party of three departed the cool atmosphere of modernity that is the Comfort Inn Cambridge, we stepped headlong into the tropical ether and dank, hazy sunrise muttering a collective, “well, shit.” Still as a stalking kestrel awaiting the timid dormouse, the sun’s orb clung to the last vestige of the horizon, ready to attack with the fierce intensity of the Roman fire god Vulcan. Continue reading

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Dear Hollywood: Stop Taking the “Vegan Challenge”

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An open letter (that none of them will read) to celebrities who think they want to go vegan: Please, please tell no one. Continue reading

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Can I Be “F40-44” Forever?

2013 in review

I’m a little afraid to say how great 2013 turned out to be. I often kept thinking “is this my peak year?” and “what happens next year?” Well, that’s malarkey. I know that 2014 will be whatever I make of it, regardless of circumstances.

So while I’m already daydreaming about the 2014 season, some themes from 2013 are stuck in my mind. Continue reading

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Race Report: Hambletonian Marathon (or Why I Might Be Ruined for Big-City Marathons)

Hambletonian marathonThrough late summer and early fall, I’d been semi-training for a marathon. I wasn’t too sure which one. There were several I was eyeballing. It was interesting doing this training-but-not-training thing. Instead of plotting out each and every weekend and weekday with specific mileage, having no set schedule left me free to continue cycling and swimming, and entering whatever running races I wanted, regardless of whether they “fit” into my training plan. Continue reading

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Eating vegan in New Orleans: Not impossible!

New OrleansThis is the sort of article I wish I had found before heading to New Orleans for the Rock ‘n’ Roll New Orleans Marathon. Eating vegan in NOLA was going to be a challenge, and the info I found online was pretty scattered (and not recently written). The good news: It’s possible to eat vegan in New Orleans, but forget about anything that has any sort of Nawwlins flavor. Continue reading

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Skinny today, fat forever

As I walk out of J.Crew with my size 4 bootleg cords (on sale for $36), I feel I’ve been hoodwinked: Clearly, size inflation is completely out of control. There is no way I wear a “real” size 4. We’ve heard for years that stores are quietly making each size more generous, and adding ever smaller sizes at the bottom end (size 000, anyone?). The reason? It makes you feel better about yourself. (Hey! I can fit into a size 4! I must purchase this apparel immediately!)

Sure, I’ve lost weight over the last 18 months, but I’m not THAT small. It’s a physical impossibility. Yet the same mass deception is going on in my own closet: the ‘skinny’ jeans that now hang on me, the shirt with the tight sleeves that are now swimmingly large. It’s some kind of plot — because someone who wears a size 4 is thin. That person is not me, and it never will be. Continue reading

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Don’t buy it: Black Friday is for suckers

Black Friday shoppers

Doesn’t this look fun?

I’ve spent the last 13 years consumed by Black Friday (as a shopping expert, it’s part of the job), and I see it for what it is: Over-hyped, overdone, over-advertised, and like me, you should be over it. Continue reading

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